How amazing is it that with the rise of social media, instead of us feeling like we're more connected to our friends and loved ones, we instead feel more disconnected and apart? I find it strange that with apps like Snapchat and Instagram, we can log on and begin experiencing loneliness when those apps are designed to make us feel the opposite.
Social media is a tricky pool to navigate through, and it's no wonder given the state of it at the moment. You've got this toxic call-out culture and offensive videos circulating all over the place. Throw into the mix people documenting their lives and putting it on the internet, you're bound to get someone feeling confused and like they're 'missing out' on something.
In comes FOMO and JOMO!
FOMO
The Fear Of Missing Out. This feeling is one that I'm sure we all have sometimes, and it's a pain in the behind! I experienced FOMO so much a couple of years ago when my friends went to university and I didn't. It was so detrimental to my happiness and I eventually had to cut myself off apps like Snapchat because I would look at my friends making new friends and having all this fun without me.
I would describe FOMO in this way - sadness, fear, and anxiety when you think an exciting event is taking place without you there. A feeling of inadequacy because you're not surrounded by multiple people and instead you're with someone different or even by yourself. Yep, been there and done that. With Valentine's Day coming up, I can definitely foresee plenty of people experiencing FOMO, and it doesn't help that society puts so much pressure on us to be in relationships! But instead of falling down that rabbit hole, what if we swapped out FOMO for its more joyful cousin instead?
JOMO
The Joy Of Missing Out. Let me tell you, when you have JOMO flowing within you, everything that once seemed so important will begin to look so insignificant. I feel so much JOMO now that I don't ever want to look at a photo on Instagram and feel that anxiety and sadness creep up again.
JOMO isn't to say you should ignore every invite out or not make any opportunities to go out with anyone because that can be very damaging too! JOMO is instead learning to love your own company and learning to love being by yourself. It's about accepting and being comfortable with being alone, and that there can be happiness when you do this too!
For me, I felt so much better when I picked up my phone to listen to a podcast or watch a TED Talk instead of scrolling through social media. When I began to practise meditation, yoga, and looked for joy in the small things, I got more and more comfortable with myself to the point where I didn't get upset looking on social media. Instead, I'd be happy for the smiling people in the photo, give it a double tap and move on!
SO, WHAT'S THE TAKEAWAY?
What you see online isn't real - big surprise! You only see the highlights of someone's day and that's all! No one wants to capture the crying, fighting, or boredom in their day because everyone wants to be happy online. What you shouldn't do is let what you see influence how you feel and what you think. This is definitely easier said than done - just go onto Google and type in 'social media makes me-' and see what comes up. It's so awful that the thing that should be making us happy is doing the opposite!
Instead of attaching so much meaning to what goes on online, put the same meaning into activities offline! Read more books, practise self-care, adopt a healthy lifestyle, and just enjoy being by yourself! At the end of the day, the one person who will be there for you is you! Enjoy the time you have by yourself and spend it doing something that you love.
Trust me, you'll be glad you did so.
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